There is no egg in the eggplant,
\nNo ham in the hamburger
\nAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
\nEnglish muffins were not invented in England,
\nFrench fries were not invented in France.<\/p>\n
We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that:
\nQuicksand takes you down slowly,
\nBoxing rings are square,
\nAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.<\/p>\n
If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing?
\nIf the plural of tooth is teeth,
\nShouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
\nIf the teacher taught,
\nWhy hasn’t the preacher praught?<\/p>\n
If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
\nWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat?
\nWhy do people recite at a play,
\nYet play at a recital?
\nPark on driveways and
\nDrive on parkways?
\nHow can the weather be as hot as hell on one day,
\nAnd as cold as hell on another?<\/p>\n
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down,
\nAnd in which you fill in a form
\nBy filling it out
\nAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!<\/p>\n
English was invented by people, not computers,
\nAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
\n(Which of course isn’t a race at all.)<\/p>\n
That is why:
\nWhen the stars are out they are visible,
\nBut when the lights are out they are invisible.
\nAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
\nIt starts,
\nBut when I wind up this poem
\nIt ends.<\/p>\n
http:\/\/www.c4vct.com\/kym\/humor\/esl.htm<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
There is no egg in the eggplant, No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England, French fries were not invented in France. We sometimes take English for granted, … Continue reading